It's Not Sox Appeal...

...but it's damn close. And it might just be worth resurrecting this blog.

The Red Sox are kicking off a new season. And we're kicking off a new segment, "Heading Home".

It gives you an up close look at your favorite Sox players, off the field. Lindsay Buchholz, wife of pitcher Clay Buchholz, is going to introduce us to all the guys and their families.

Up first, Lindsay is at home with her big league husband and their darling daughter Colbi. It's tonight's heading home.

Next week's we are heading home with the Red Sox newest super slugger Adrian Gonzales. He and his wife are a real life love story!

Lindsay Buchholz sits down with them and even gets Adrian cookin' in the kitchen!

Oh, goody!!

Happy Opening Day, everyone!

Tony Massarotti's Very Bad Week Continues

First, he mixes up his racial stereotypes and is censored by Boston.com. Now, it would appear he's contracted a case of selective amnesia.

"And so now we know, with 99.9 percent certainty, what we have long suspected and feared: Big Papi is a myth. The rags-to-riches story is truly a fairy tale. David Ortiz is a symbol of baseball now just as he was then, though this time he is playing the role of yet another damaged superstar who succumbed to the pressures during the most tainted era in baseball history."

The co-author of that fairy tale?

CYA: Tony Massarotti Edition

Looks like Tony Mazz's stereotyping of Dice-K didn't sit well with the folks at Boston.com.

"In retrospect, what Farrell did not say was that Matsuzaka looked like he spent the winter eating dumplings and shumai, which the Red Sox believe contributed to the pitcher's problems" has been changed to "In retrospect, what Farrell did not say was that Matsuzaka looked like he spent the winter eating cheeseburgers, which the Red Sox believe contributed to the pitcher's problems." Boston.com addressed the change in the comments: "Boston.com: While there certainly was no malice intended here, we do see how that description could be misinterpreted and have made an adjustment."

For what it's worth, he also corrected "Stay-Puft".

Tony Mazz Is an Idiot

Protip: If you're going to make a subtly racist dig at a player, make sure you use the correct stereotype.

"What Matsuzaka did not say, of course, was that he showed up in camp this year looking like the Sta-Puft marshmallow man. (What's the Japanese word for doughboy, anyway?) Asked about Matsuzaka's strength when the pitcher returned from the World Baseball Classic, Farrell said at the time that Matsuzaka graded out well when the club tested the pitcher's shoulder. In retrospect, what Farrell did not say was that Matsuzaka looked like he spent the winter eating dumplings and shumai, which the Red Sox believe contributed to the pitcher's problems."

We'll ignore the egregious slight to the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man. What can't be ignored is the little dig at Dice-K's weight gain. In the tiny clump of cells known as Mazz's brain, the only way Japanese players would get fat is if they spent the entire off-season eating Japanese food. If the Red Sox had a black player (as if!) who came to camp overweight, I wonder if Mazz would have suggested he spent the winter eating fried chicken and watermelon? That would go over well. But what makes his point even more absurd is that he didn't even use Japanese food. Shumai? It's a Chinese dumpling. Which, when you think about it, makes "dumplings and shumai" redundant.

You know, like most of Tony's columns.

And it's nice to see that Tony's fans are picking up where he left off.



This is starting feel familiar, isn't it? Go back to where you came from is a familiar refrain anytime a non-American player says something even remotely critical of the Red Sox. Curt Schilling complained about the way the training staff handled his rehab and there was nary a critical peep from the media. Other than Shaughnessy, of course, but that's personal. Regardless of how you feel about his comments, the idea that Dice-K should keep his mouth shut because he's Goddamned lucky to be playing in this great country of our is bullshit. And dangerous.

So, Tony, when you're working on your next column about Dice-K, you might want to consult this guide to Japanese culture. It takes a special breed of jackass to screw up a stereotype.