They may be famous for fake news but there are times when The Onion is prescient. For example: In 2004, Schick introduced the Quattro razor, prompting the CEO of Gillette to "issue" a memo to his employees via The Onion entitled, "Fuck Everything, We're Doing Five Blades". One year later, Gillette introduced the Fusion razor with, you guessed it, five blades.
Earlier this week, The Onion reported on a phenomenon sweeping its way across Fenway Park in an article that can best be described as fake but accurate.
My Girlfriend Wants to Leave the Game Now
BOSTON—According to eyewitness reports, Jennifer Holleman, 25, wants to leave the game now despite the difficulty and expense of obtaining tickets, the strong playoff implications of the contest, and the fact that the final result of the hotly contested tie game is still in doubt. "Are you still watching this? Or can we leave soon?" Holleman asked boyfriend Ian Pickett, who had been looking forward to the game for weeks and had in fact initially invited his best friend before finally being coerced by Holleman to bring her instead. "Let's go watch a movie or something. Or I could call Liz and Michelle and meet up at a bar that's playing the game there.Then you could still watch the end of the game. We've been here for an hour already and no one's even winning." Earlier in the evening, Pickett had missed the only scoring of the once-in-a-lifetime sporting epic while waiting in line at the gift shop to purchase a pink version of the home team's hat.